What About Your Friends & more

Xtian Aki: Hey, what's up everybody? It's your boy Xtian Aki You're tuned into Life Unscripted, right here with the rest of us at the Village. I'm your boy, I'm your fave's hater, your hater's fave. I don't hate on just anybody. I hate on everybody. And I might be your favorite nephew or your favorite cousin, depending on who you are and where you are in life and how old you might be. And to some people, I'm your best gay friend. And because today's show is about friends. What about your friends? Okay. I will say I got some of the best motherfucking friends in the world, okay? I I don't think anybody could ask for better friends, okay? Shout out to all my friends. Shout out to Keisha, Jay, Q, Misha, Eric, Kevin. Xavier. I mean Xavier as for him to be under you know, I I love him dearly, but child. We'll get into it later. We'll get into that completely later. Okay, moving on. What about your friends otherwise, though? Okay. Are you a good friend? Do you know how to be a good friend? Are you that kind of motherfucker that when your friend says something to you like, hey, ain't that right? You yeah, I know that's right. You don't you don't ask no questions. I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about? Because that's the kind of friend I am. Okay. I'm gonna tell you a true story real quick. Because yesterday I went out to eat one of my friends from work. And this bitch has always got some drama. Okay. This girl is forever in some motherfucking drama. And she's a white bitch. Okay. But I think she just liked this kind of shit. So we was out yesterday. And she already prepared me that her boyfriend is looking for her. That she ain't been home in two days. Cause she's over the bullshit. And I was all shit. I'm like, girl, what? Can't be some more can't prepare. What what's going on? Cause I haven't been at this job in a couple of weeks. So I've been on vacation. So I'm just getting back to work. And all the drama, this is the drama. Everybody's talking about like, have you talked to her? Have you so I'm like, What? What the fuck? So we we're going out to lunch. She's tells me things. She tells like, now he might walk up, he might show up because he's been stalking me. and I'm like, what the fuck you tell me? What that supposed to mean? Like, nigga, like, girl, what the fuck? Because if he walks up on me, okay, he's gonna get the motherfucking shock of his life. Well, we're sitting down, we're having a little lunch and shit, you know what I'm saying? A little brunch or whatever you want to call it. And I see this six-foot-something white man, big brawly ass walking over to the table. I'm thinking, because he's dressed in black and white, that he might be a waiter. But as he gets closer, I realize he's not. He has nothing in his hand. And not even the apron. So I'm like, okay, who the fuck is this dude? Then I'm like, wait, this might be her man. This might be her man. So then he walks up and he's like, So you're not gonna answer my phone call? And I'm like, what the fuck? I'm just looking like this. I'm imagining I'm drinking my dream light. And she's like, I mean, James, can you like give me some breath? Can you give me some breath space? Like, I mean, you get you can I'm just like I'm just sitting like this. He was like, Who is this n I mean he didn't say nigga, but cause I said nigga. But he's like, who is this nigga? And I'm like, excuse me? He's like, you heard me, who the fuck are you? And I'm like, girl, you better get your motherfucking man. Because he don't know who the fuck I am. Like, girl, I will fuck him. Like, bit, nah, look, girl, what? What is this? What is this drama, girl? Like, what is this? She was her eyes got so big. He even like, this is. His jaw draw because you know what? I'm that kind of friend, okay? Okay? I'm that kind of because nigga, I knew this nigga trying to think we was fucking. I knew he thought we was fucking because I I look good enough to fuck this bitch, okay? Trust me, I do. And I was looking kind of, you know, kinda cute yesterday and shit in my little in my outfit and shit. So I know he probably thought I was trying to fuck his bitch. And if I wanted to, I really could, okay? Because look at me, but then I might look at him. And like, but then I'm looking at me again. I'm like, well. If I had this height and he had my face, we'd be everything. Boom. But anyway, he's looking all stuck like a deer in headlights, and she's looking like a motherfucking rabbit that's about to get hit by a car. And I'm like, you know, I'm like, girl, what go take your man, girl? Take your man over there somewhere. I don't got to this bush. Or do you need me to get up David Lee? Like cause I mean, I can always do stuff. What do you what do you what is your name again? James? Like I mean, this is rude. Like, do you do you not have any disrespect? I mean, do you have not any decorum? Have you not been around the world? Have you not been cultured? I don't know. This me, brother. were you raised in trailer park or something? Because you just walk about people like this and shit. Like so you don't know, girl, get him. He was like, so I'm like, so what? You thought we was fucking? girl, no. No, no, no, no. He was like, I'm not a girl. girl, please. Well, you're a girl to me. Because I ain't fucking your bitch and I don't want to. Because again, let me say this. I'm a good friend. I'm like, I'm her friend. We work together. What are you talking about, man? Get your answer from here. Like, girl, she's because I'll be right back. She walked off with. But she came back to the table though after like five or six minutes. She was like, my God, Christian, thank you so much. Cause you know he thought that we were fucking. And I was like, why would he think that? He's like, because he got a private investigator following me. And the man saw you meeting you leaving the motherfucking office, he thought that you were on one of my dates or a date somebody I was dating. I was Are you fucking kidding me? She's like, Yeah. I was like, girl, if you got to do all this, if you're a man, first of all, I'm like, if you're a man out here doing this shit. Maybe it ain't about families tied how people are out here doing relationships wrong with some shit, I know. But if you out here doing having to get a private investigator to find your woman, chase her down, follow her around, is it really worth it? I mean, why not just get a new bitch? Okay. And and what you you and then you come out to confront her as if like as if I'm a punk, because nigga had he not Back down a few seconds. He's about to get his ass whooped. Okay. Cause nigga, I'm like, look, hey, don't let the real nigga come out. Cause I mean, the bitch right here. Okay. I'm being bitchy right now. I'm just acting at the moment. But let me just let you know for real. The real nigga will come out and fuck your ass up. And I'm not playing. Okay. No, I'm not playing, okay? Anyway. So yeah, are you that kind of friend? I mean, my friends, all of my friends know that I'm a good friend. I try to be the best friend I can be. I try to be a listening ear. If I'm not a financial supporter, I try to be an emotional supporter. I try to be a a s in physical support. I try to do my best, because I know that I don't have it the best. I'm not living a life of luxury. I'm living modest, okay? Very, very modest. Okay. And but I'm I'm doing okay. And I'm thankful because I wouldn't be here without the help of all of my friends. Shout out to Janine too. I almost forgot my girl. And shout out to my sister Ebony, because she's also a big part of my life as well. She's been a big supporter. She can't help me out like she wants to, because I know she got her own kids got her own situation going But actually do what she can. I shout out to my other brother and my other sister. My shout out to my brother Jonathan and my sister Dawn. Those are my real siblings. they do what they can when they can't but they got their own kids and I'm the oldest. And I always believe that the oldest should always look out. And I did and I have all my siblings when I could but your brother can't do it no more. You what I'm saying? 'Cause when you get to okay, that's another thing. When you get a certain age, yeah, I hope, and God I hope that you know, 'cause I'm working on my insurance, right? My life insurance. I'm hoping to God that I don't get, you know, I'm buried And y'all forget about me some shit. Like I do believe though that once you once you die, you get like two days of like reverence. So people like, you know, crying over your shit. But then after that, it pretty much dies. And maybe after a couple months, after the funeral, it's damn sure over with, okay? Because we don't talk about Elf's number. We damn damn we barely talk about Sammy Davis Jr. or Frank Sinatra. Now, maybe they're being talked about in some mediums that I don't walk around in because I don't like I hear nobody talking about them names. People we talk about are like Aretha Franklin, you know, Whitney Houston, Prince, Michael Jackson, James Brown. Minnie Rippletons, those kind of motherfuckers, okay? We're not talking about I don't even know some white people's name. But I just named that one bitch, okay? Paula Dean or somebody or Betty Wright. I mean, even though Betty Wright was one of the bla you a few black one of the few white bitches that black people fuck with, shout out to Dolly Park who just passed too. You know what I'm saying? We lost our favorite little white ladies, okay? Just someone be checking on Bet Midler, make sure she ain't somewhere down, okay? And someone check on my favorite black girl. What's her name? what's her name from from what's her name? Marla Gibbs, y'all check on my my sister, just check on Auntie Marla, okay? Make sure she's somewhere safe. Okay. I'm child if y'all better get Tyler Purdy to go put in the fucking, you know, Ciro change what's that shit called? Cryro Cairo changer? Cairo changer Cry Crypta Well anyway, you know, put in the fucking freezing tank, okay? So we can have around for a long time. I just wanna know. I wonder if that shit really works. Well actually, no, we know that shit don't work, okay? 'Cause didn't Walt Disney freeze himself and he's still dead, okay? All the advances that we done figured out since his ass and froze his head and shit, he could've been back to life by now. I mean, you know. But I r really feels like once you freeze, I mean, there is no way to freeze a person and put them to sleep and then bring them back to life. I t except through amnesia and you're really not putting them to sleep, you're they're cause the heart is still beating. So there ain't no way to do that shit. But I'm pretty sure some white person has tried. And I'm pretty sure there's a lot of dead people out there for that reason. If not dead people, dead animals. Cause we know how they love to fucking test the animal, okay? But then run around and want to cry about the bitch after the fact. I'm gonna let y'all get on my fucking door. Okay, just as quickly as you are saying don't test the fucking animal over here, they're doing it over there. do you want to throw somebody in jail for doing a dog fight? I mean dogs fight all the fucking time, okay? I don't understand why that dog fight thing was such a big deal, but I'm moving on. I don't want to be like, Christians just hater and all shit. No, no, no, no, no. Okay, because I'm not. Anyway, I do want to say that the niggas ain't Worse shit episode has done really great. So I'm thankful for that, y'all. Please tune in for the next episode because we're doing a niggas ain't worth shit part two. And I want to hear from you. All right. Tell me about your niggas. Send me your stories and I'll read them out loud. And we'll talk about it right here on the show. All right. With that being said, much love to everybody. I hope you enjoyed the show and please keep watching. Please subscribe and share. Now I if it wasn't your cup of tea today, then maybe it would be next week, okay? Because hey, the villager The I am the village host and the village is always and forever changing. You never know what my attitude is gonna be like, okay, because sometimes I'm mellow, sometimes I'm really frantic. Sometimes shit just happened right there at the moment, and I won't talk about it. So stay tuned for more. All right. With that being said, I'm out. Peace. And this has been Life Unscripted with your boy Christian Ike. May his peace be with you till we meet again.