The Black Parent Phrases We Grew Up Afraid Of

Xtian Aki: Okay. Hey, what's up, everybody? I'm your boy Xtian Aki your fav's hater and your haters fav i dont just hate on anybody, I hate on everybody because that's who I am. And I might be, shit, I might be your favorite nephew your favorite cousin, depending on where you are in life and what you're doing. You know what I'm saying? And what might be going on. Anyway, let's get into today's show. I want to talk about a couple of things, okay? But mainly I'm gonna talk about black people and some of the certain things that we say, okay? Because black people and white people have some I mean. What we taught is crazy. Okay. And I want to tell you why I'm gonna do this stuff, because I was just listening to somebody outside, talking to their child, and she was like, I'm trying to teach you something, but you're too damn you're too damn dumb to learn it, you're too damn stupid to learn. I'm like, that makes no fucking sense. That makes no sense. So I'm I just get there's got to be more. There's got to be more. And then then, you know, I'm like. Thinking about it, the one I thought was like, You got one more time to look at me, or even play or even play confused. I'm like, my mom used to say this shit all the time. Like, look at like you're confused if you to. Like, do you got one more time looking like you're confused? Look, looking like you don't know what's going on. Okay, mind you, did you ever know what was going on? I never knew the fuck was going on. I'm I'm gonna ask Jay now, did you ever know what's going on with your mom? I don't even Jay no, Jay was a good kid, okay. My my best friend Jay, he was a good kid. I'm pretty sure Maggie's mom probably, I'm pretty sure. Miss Antoinette probably said some shit like that here, okay? One of my favorite ones was somebody better come get the child before I you never knew what the fuck was gonna come out at the end of that shit, okay? If somebody better come get this child before I could another one, don't bring this foolishness in my house when I just moped the floor I feel like every time my grandmother said this shit, she had just moped, she had just mopped the floor too. Like there was no denying that she had just did that shit. And she was not playing with you. Don't come in this fucking house. Dragging dirt through my mouth. I just moped this flow. I just vacuumed the flow. It was always something to flu. It was never anything else. Don't, don't, they never said, don't bring no food to my house before you break my dishes or before you fuck up my wallet. Don't fuck up their flow. Black people don't fuck up their flow. I'm pretty sure of it. Now, white people, their equivalent of this shit is like, for some reason, they they say compliments or criticize you at the end or ask a question like, what's the one that I I I remember I was I'm not mad. No, no, I'm not mad at you. No, no, I'm not mad at all. I'm just deeply, deeply, deeply disappointed. And quite frankly, I'm confused. Like, I don't know. What what what were you thinking? Like it's that you I mean, because black people are not good. That is not what black people say. We've not there I am mad, okay? I fucking pissed off at you. That's the fuck I am, okay? I'm very motherfucking disappointed. And you know what I'm not even fucking. I know I'm not gonna I don't you know I know you was gonna do this dumb shit because your daddy did it, okay? And your fucking mom probably did black people. White people, I'm not arguing with you. I'm just telling you what you did wrong and why I'm right. Black people, now you know, you know, you I know I taught you better than this. You know I taught you better than this. I don't want to don't say shit. I know I taught you better than this. Here you are, I am making you look stupid. Black people, you are really testing my patience. Lil Miss Sassy's Miss Sally Sassy. Sassy Silly Massy. What the fuck they want? Miss Sassy, Miss Sassy, Silly Mouth, or something. Miss Sassy Sally Mouth. Miss Sassy Mouth? Little Miss Sassy Mouth. Who the fuck knows? Little Miss Sassy, so who the fuck here to come? They that you you are really testing my patience. That is a white thing for Shumshad. Because black people, you don't test their patience today. Trust me, you already did it and it's over with. Another thing, black people have to like, I mean, I know if anybody else has had this happen, but I remember this like this conversation and be like, if I had to repeat myself, I swear, if I have to repeat myself, do you hear me? Do you understand what I'm saying? Do you understand? Don't just sit there like you don't hear what I'm saying. Say something. shut up don't say. Don't say shit. Did I ask you to say something? Who told you to talk? Did I ask you to say did I actually did I ask you? Now you're not now you're not gonna say nothing. Now you're gonna sit here I didn't say something. Now you go act out. If I hit you the fucking mouth, you to If hit you nobody think I'm doing you wrong. I swear to you, I swear to say say one word. Just say don't say shit. Don't say shit. Just get out of my face. Just get out of my face. Have you ever had a parent to give you that kind of conversation? Because let me tell you, if that ain't the most confusing motherfucking conversation that you have ever heard with your mom or your daddy, you learn real quick that you just stand there and you're. Don't move, you just you you don't know what to do. You you barely want to cry, you try holding your breath. And then they'd be like, I'll give you something to cry for it. Don't don't you let don't you let a fucking tear fall. Mama used to don't you let a fucking my mama used to say that shit so bad. And you know there'd be a tear right there. You could feel the tear willing up in your fucking eye, and you know it's about to drop. And you either turn your head and shit so she don't see it, or you try to like try to catch it and say, 'cause she told you if you don't if you let a fucking tear fall, I'm gonna give you something to cry for. If you let a fucking tear fall. Swear to God, I'm gonna give you the take their feeling and they put put it in your putting your forehead and push you and shit. White people? Nope. They'd be like, come here, come here. You know you're wrong, right? You you you don't don't do go back in there and apologize. And then y'all want you to go over there and time out. Okay. For three minutes. No, no, no. Tommy, no, time out. I'm not playing with you. He's sorry. He's sorry. What's her name? What's her name? Melissa, he's sorry. That's how that goes. That's how that goes. Okay. But child, not and mind you, some black kids are just are fucking rebellious too, okay. If you think that every mama had a lock on every child, trust and believe there's some baby kids out there, okay? I'm pretty sure some motherfucker out there right now that's bossing his goddamn mom around to her what to fucking do. And she's doing it. You know why? Because she's probably afraid of fucking death with saying I don't know where that kid is, because most black kids, you think your mama's God, okay? Mama is you my you chat you are afraid of your mama more than you are afraid of anything else in this world. So whatever your mama says, when it's said, you believe it, okay? I mean you that's why some of these kids ain't so fucking stupid. I got kids that are believing that motherfucking Martin Luther King and Corona Scott King was motherfucking brother and sister because their mama said it, okay? But that's how much your mama, you know, her weight means and shit. She said it, it's real. Okay. You can believe it. I know my mom told me a lot of fucking things I found out later on down in life that weren't real. And I'm pretty sure y'all mamas have too. Okay, because I mean I believe this, I believe in Santa Claus. I believe in the Easter bunny. I don't know why the I don't even know where the fuck the Easter Bunny came from, but it's a whole bunch of fucking holiday about Jesus and dying on the fucking cross. Right? Anyway, Easter is because Christmas is about being bought. Right, right, right. So Easter. I'm just like, so I don't even know why they fucking Easter. How the fuck do they get a fucking rabbit with fucking eggs? When rabbits don't even lay eggs. I'm like, This rabbit out here fucking still the chicken eggs and painting them and shit and giving them out the little kids. Is he out here fucking out, you know, giving out fucking salmonella or some shit? I just thought, I mean, when you think about it, the fucking mascots of the holidays are kind of scary, okay? Nobody really thinks rabbits are friendly and cuddly like that, rocking around motherfucking chocolate fucking covered eggs. Like, really, have y'all ever seen a rabbit? That motherfucker is trying to get away from you, okay? Nine times of ten, he is trying to get the fuck away from us, okay? Once over two. I mean, they are nasty. Okay. They bite. They are fucking disgusting. They stink like a motherfucker. Anybody say something about my cat? Well, don't you got a cat? Yes, I do. He where he at? He's right here asleep. Okay, he here asleep behind because he's there, don't ever wanna be in another room without me. He right here. Knock the fuck out. But that's my baby, that's son of y'all. but yeah, y'all don't want to be in the room that shit 'cause and then I don't I don't know how long they live. I won't be like eight years maybe. I don't think they got a long life spend. But at the same time, they are furrier than motherfucking cats and dogs. All that fur and shit they got they got and they got a shed and shit for the weather. Hell no. Damn, I would never and I mean, could you take it outside and walk it around without a fucking bird trying to come down and s and kill it? Or like without a dog trying to attack it? Like, no, I want animals that I can take outside. Okay, I take my cat outside, we go walking sometimes. But I ain't taking no motherfucking rabbit outside. Okay, no, you got your fucking mind. No, that's not an ammo for me. No, no, no, no, no. Anyway, look, before I get out of here, did I even record this fucking job? yeah, I did. I'm like, did I even record y'all? Before I get out of here, let me just say thank you guys for watching and tuning in. I'm doing a bye week show for now, okay? It's it's a lot to do this show, edit it and promote it and all that kind of shit. But I'm trying to get better at that. So please stay tuned and bear with me. Okay. I hope you guys like the new the new flyer, the new poster of the show. and there'll be more to talk about, okay? I'm gonna have a guest on the next episode. So y'all make sure y'all stay tuned for that, all right? And with that being said, I'm your boy Xtian I keep your faves hater, your haters fav's. I don't hate on just anybody, I hate on everybody. And yeah, may his peace be with you. again. Did it right. Peace out. Pretty good times, come